NOTE/WARNING: My emotion toward this subject is blocking my ability to clearly express myself. I will do my best and may clarify and expand later.
Yep I said it, divorce. No I'm not asking for one or being asked for one. Just watched a segment on the
Today Show about divorce. Ann Curry spoke to two people who are 'experts' on how to ask for a divorce. In the segment they reported that you need to try your best to make the divorce civil for all involved. The 'experts' instructed how to go about this. Their biggest way to do this was to have the first and initial conversation asking for the divorce in a public place. That way if the other party would be less likely to create a scene. Thus allowing for the process to start off less volatile than if you did it in the privacy of the home. They said the beginning of the divorce, the first asking for one, sets the tone for the whole divorce. If you can avoid a heat up it will keep the heat down during the process.
The 'experts' also made it clear to express that they are going to get through it together and that he/she is asking for the divorce for the better of both people. The 'experts' also said the less friction the better for any children involved. One of the 'experts' said, "to some degree a healthy divorce may be more important than a healthy marriage." This whole segment is asinine!
Divorce is a nasty and ugly proceeding. The 'experts' talked about how asking for a divorce says to the other person you are a failure and brings out anger and jealousy along with some other dark colored feelings. But they missed by a long shot what it really says...asking for a divorce says to the other person you are no longer worthy of being loved. You are no longer worthy of my energy, time or effort. Divorce devalues the person. Coming to that point in a relationship may bring devalue to both people because it is a failure on both their parts. They both failed to live actively involved with one another, sharing, caring, engaging. They deadened themselves for something more dead...selfishness. However selfishness is very much a living breathing organism that lives within us all. It's the human sickness that has plagued us for generations.
And now for several decades we have chosen to stop loving. And we wonder why we are all lonely, detached and devoid of life.... I'll be posting more about divorce as I mull over and sort out my stand on it. I am throughly against divorce unless one of the parties is unwilling to make amends and reengage in the relationship. Any marriage can be saved if both people are willing to change how they view marriage and respond to that change. Bold for someone who hasn't been married for long and comes from a divorce, I know. But when I got married we agreed that divorce was not an option. Still to this day it is not an option under any circumstance.
Comments (1)
Your attitude is right on. Good post! Keep up the good work. D. Greene